They can show up with... What are they called? Like, little bags
and little yoga mats.
You know what? This is where Eugene O'Neill used to come and write.
- Really? - Yep.
In fact, they said he finished the Long Day's Journey into Night here.
Oh, shoot.
Fuck.
- It's the office. I gotta take this. - No, you don't.
- Yeah, I do. - No, you don't.
Okay, you're right. You're right.
A salesman is not a salesman when he's not selling.
Did you get him?
I'm serious. That means something.
- Why'd you say eww? - 'Cause I didn't want to look at that.
- I told you this was more fun than working. - Oh, man.
The way my sales are going, I'm going to avoid the office at all cost.
I'm sure a bit of that is my fault.
I'm a big boy. I can make my own decisions.
- I know. Yeah. - Yeah.
The Picture of Dorian Gray.
This was one of my favorite books in college.
Really?
I taught that every semester.
- You did? - Yeah.
God, I haven't read this in years.
So do you think we pay for our sins now, or later, like Dorian?
Actually, I think the real issue is whether or not we recognize the damage
our sins are doing to our souls before it's too late,
if you want to know the truth.
I'm not sure I agree with that interpretation, Professor.
Really? Then you would have failed my class.
You'd hit me with a ruler?
If that's what you needed.
You ever think about going back?
It's not that easy.
Why not?
Because, you know... Because to, you know...
To teach, I mean, to truly inspire,
you have to pour your soul out to a student.
You have to water each one like it's the last surviving plant in the garden.
All teachers should be like that.
What happens if you run out of water?
I understand that it's tough out there.
And that is why you have to forget about the business outlook
and you have to be on the outlook for business.
We have reached DEFCON 1.
We are not meeting our self-imposed,
and I might add, mutually agreed upon goals for this quarter.
What the fuck is he talking about?
And our time is ticking away.
Tick, tick, tick, tick.
Tick, tick, tick, tick. Tick.
Motherfucker!
I know what you're thinking. You don't want to do it.
I don't? 'Cause he's been acting like a fucking lunatic.
You know, I hate to see anybody struggle,
but sometimes there is no success like failure.
Besides, the way things are going around here,
I'm gonna have to let somebody go pretty soon.
Iook, John, you're the guy who hired Jaime. Right?
Yeah.
Okay, well, this company laid out a great deal of cash to uproot him.
They've got moving costs, you gotta find him a house,
you gotta give him a signing bonus,
all the bullshit that goes along with moving someone here.
Now, personally, I don't give a fuck one way or another whether you fire him or not,
but four guys in six months,
that's a lot of red ink to cover up.
You think I should give him another chance, huh?
You can send him on one of those weekend focus groups. It helped him last time.
Hey, John, what's going on?
You guys are making our lives in Accounts Receivable a little too easy.
We're so bored, I had to take up smoking.
Yeah, the quarter's not over yet.
Fucking bitch.
Fuck her. She's just a glorified bookkeeper.
Hey, I've got some really big clients coming to this conference tomorrow.
- Send Jaime along as a backup. - Really?
Well, you need the sales, plus it will keep these pricks here and there at bay.
It's what you want.
Okay, I'll give him one week.
- Two weeks. - Two weeks.
Listen, this could be the perfect place to put you back on track.
I've met some of my biggest clients here. Hey, Chuck.
I haven't met any clients anywhere, anyplace, anytime, anyhow.
Iook, you're in a slump. You snap out of those things.
You sure as hell don't want to lose this job and move back to Ohio.
I don't know, maybe it's the best thing for us to do.
Would you gentlemen like to come over and look at our new boiler system?
Sure, if you can tell me if it's a system of interlocking polycarbonate lining
or if it's the tubular magnesium dioxide variety.
I'm not exactly sure.
- Give her a break. - She's a slut.
In an economy where fly-by-night dot-com companies come and go,
we represent one of the many industries that actually makes something.
You can grab hold of what we do.
We are the foundation for America.
"Go with Guardia." These guys are fucking everywhere.
You're right. There's leguzza.
Oh, my God.
That Pillsbury Doughboy is the legend everyone's been talking about?
Don't let appearances fool you.
That merciless son of a bitch has ridden roughshod over this industry for decades.
He used to screw his competitors' secretaries just to get information.
- Do you know this guy? - Yeah.
He tried to buy me off a couple years ago
'cause I was signing away some of his clients.
Yeah, I can't wait to see the look on his big fat face next year
when all anybody's talking about is the DIX.
Technology, like all the other industries, will shape our future. Now we at Guardia...
You know what, Ted? You're absolutely right.
I don't want to go back to Ohio a failure.
- I gotta get my shit together. - Good, good.
Then start changing right now,
'cause this guy coming up here is one of my biggest clients, okay?
Lmprint Industries. He's a good guy.
- Hey! - Ted.
- How are you there? Good to see you. - Fine. I was hoping I'd get to see you here.
Well, yeah. This is my new partner, Jaime Bashant.
- Hi, how do you do? - My pleasure.
Come on.
It was like three years ago they used to hold these things in motel lobbies.
- That's right. - Yeah.
It was in the...
A long time...
Forget it.
Yeah, sure have come a long way.
- Oh, yeah, you bet. - Yeah, we really have.
Speaking of long way,
I'll bet you that old system you have up there in White Plains
is about ready to give up the ghost.
Well, you might be right, but I'm not sure we need to replace the entire system.
Well, Toby, I think you should reconsider.
Hey, we're not buying any of this horseshit that you're doling out, you cocksucker.
Ted?
He's kidding.
We've got like 20 companies lined up to do business with us.
He does that thing...
You know, why don't you just go and sell blue-haired old soap bags
to ladies, old ladies with gray hair who piss their pants.
- I'm gone. - Yeah, well. Your stomach's making me turn.
He'll be back.
What?
You prick.
You weak, fucking, Midwestern
bad suit and stupid haircut motherfucking prick!
Ted.
You know how important that fucking guy is to us?
I'm just trying to be like you.
What?
You fuck.
Wow, you really are a fucking loser.
How the fuck did I get stuck with this guy?
Fucking waste of time, these conferences.
But they make great theater, right?
You look familiar.
- You work for me? - No, I'm over at Bineview.
- Bineview. - Yeah.
Our illustrious neighbor.
Food.
What do you need here, man? Jaime.
- Hey, Ted. - Hey.
I'm sorry to bother you when you're not feeling well.
No, no, no, no, it's good. Don't worry about it.
Okay.
- Do you want to come in? - For a drink?
Well, I mean, I don't really have anybody here.
I don't have anything here, so... I don't keep any alcohol here.
- No, it's all right. - Yeah.
- What are you doing? - I got something for you.
This.
- Why? - 'Cause you won the bet.
And I don't even think I'm gonna get one sale at this point.
I can't catch you,
and I even managed to fuck up that easy one that you handed me last week.
Hey, take this stupid fucking thing.
Jaime, take this. I don't want it.
Come on, man, this is dumb. Take the thing. Jaime, I don't want it. I don't want this.
I'll see you later, okay?
- Jaime, come on. - Hope you feel better. Bye.
You know, you never told me why you quit teaching.
- That was Jaime out there. - What?
- He stopped by to give me this. - Jesus.
- Did he know I was here? - I don't know.
The guy's out there dying, and we're in here fucking all day.
Shit.
I can't believe this.
Would you move in here with me?
Just get started with your life right now.
It's not as simple as just packing a bag, Ted.
I know, but the sooner you do it, the easier it's gonna be.
Trust me, I know it.
I'm not one of your clients, Ted. Don't sell me.
Iook, I'm gonna tell him soon, I promise.
Yeah, it's okay. I'll make it easier for both of us. Just go.
- I'm sorry. - Yeah, I'm sorry, too. Just go.
Come on. Sit down and talk to me.
- Ted. - Just go.
My future wife, that bitch, wants to take some time off.
Remember something, kid. Marriage is not an accomplishment.
It's a choice. And it's the wrong one.
Fuck this place.
Hey, Ted, you're on your way to Frogers, right?
Fuck off.
Hey, Ted, this is important.
Come on, we gotta close this deal! I'm serious!
I'm just sick and tired of dealing with this shit.
I never even wanted to move to New York.
She's the one that convinced me to take this job.
Why was I dealing with her? I don't know what I was thinking.
I've gotta fucking stand up to this bitch or she's gonna walk all over me.
Then she fucking delays the wedding. Who the fuck is she to delay the wedding?
Hey, guys. Hold up.
- What do you want? - Yeah, what do you want?
Nothing, really. I just wanted to say goodbye.
- They let me go. - They did?
Yeah, they're slashing people left and right.
I mean, it's happening in every office from here to Tacoma.
Why don't you try Guardia?
I don't think they hit their affirmative action quota yet.
Yeah, Poncho.
Fuck you. At least I made one sale.
Who's your wife banging to keep your job?
What the fuck was that for?
Sorry.
Fuck this, I'm out of here.
What are you fucking looking at? Just fuck off.
You want some, too?
Your fish seemed so lonely. I just...
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna ask him to move out tonight.
Is that what you want?
They finally fired that son of a bitch Jaime.
- Bastard. - What?
You made it to the final round of interviews.
- Well, I can't baby-sit you forever. - Congratulations.
We're having our worst quarter ever and he's getting a promotion?
Capitalism at its finest.
You get to go off to Chicago while I'm stuck with that son of a bitch,
who, by the way, missed his last three appointments.
I know, John. You did everything you could.
The guy cost us lmprint Industries for Christ's sakes.
I get it. I understand.
Listen, another thing, don't worry about this quarter,
'cause I got Glyrade and I've got Parker Plastics
and I've got lange all coming in, next 10 days.
All right. Good, good.
Well, looks like he's back on track, huh? Thank God.
Yeah, when your sales start to get low like his have, you're forced to be nice.
Yeah? Then why are you still such a prick?
Fuck her.
Warned you not to go there.
- She's got a point. - Fuck off.
So, you ready for lunch?
We've got reservations at Mimosa in about 20 minutes.
Not exactly.
Why? What's the matter?
What's he doing here?
He came over early this morning, crying.
What was I supposed to do, kick him out?
Did you know he'd been fired yesterday?
I know, I know. You know, I did everything I could.
Well, now he's come to the conclusion that life has no meaning.
He won't take his anti-depressants. This is exactly what I was afraid of.
All right. What do you want me to do?
Just, can you get him off my hands for a little bit, please?
Okay. What about lunch?
I need your help, please.
Okay. All right.
Okay. Let me do this.
- He takes anti-depressants? - Yeah, he tells everybody they're vitamins.
No wonder he's so happy all the time.
- Hey! - Hey! Riker!
- What the fuck are you doing here? - I just...
- Do you mind? - Sorry.
I heard about the job, and I just wanted to see how you're doing.
Well, you know.
- Hey, listen, come on. Let's get out of here. - Why?
- No, come on. Let's get... - I got food, I can sketch.
- Bring your sketch pad. - Really?
- I'm starved. I'm buying. - That's a great idea, man. I'd like that.
Let's go.
No, I'm gonna stay here.
Come on. Come on.
You need to get out of here, cheer you up or something. Come on.
- What are you so happy about? - I don't know.
- Just in a good mood, I guess. - Nobody's fucking happy, Ted.
Nobody is fucking happy. Someone told me that once.
Matter of fact, I'm gonna drive, okay? Let's get the fuck out of here.
- All right. - See you later, honey. Be good. Come on.
Okay.
Wow.
- Move it! - Watch the fucking road.
Don't you think...
Don't you think that you're taking this misery thing a little too far?
How dour should I be? My fianc¨Ĥe is seeing someone.
Who, Belisa?
Please, I found a book of matches in her coat pocket
from some restaurant in Atlantic City.
She's not smart enough to find AC on her own.
- Wait, you snooped through her things? - Hell, yeah, I did.
Aren't you the one who said that I shouldn't trust anybody?
- Yeah, but... - Especially a woman?
Is that what you said?
Yeah, but I mean, when I said that...
I have a pretty good idea who it is, too.
My honeymoon is supposed to be next week.
I should be packing for Jamaica this very fucking minute!
Hey, hey, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Watch this fucking... You're right up on the guy's ass!
Watch the fucking road. Keep your hands on the wheel!
- Why, Ted? - Why what? Why what?
- Why? - Why what?
Why doesn't Belisa love me anymore?
I've given her everything! I've given her my heart, my soul!
I gave her a Toyota Celica hatchback with leather seats and a CD player!
I'm the one who brought her to fucking New York!
And now she doesn't even care if I live or die!
Hey, whoa, whoa, watch the road! Watch the fucking road!
Pull the fucking car over here! I wanna drive!
I wanna drive the fucking car!
What are we doing at Bineview?
Let's just say that I have some unfinished business to take care of.
Hey, Ted, hang on.
What the fuck is the matter with you?
- What the hell is going on in there? - There? Nothing.
Let's just say that I left John a proper goodbye present.
Hey, let me tell you something right now.
I don't want to be a part of any...
I want you to know that I've come to a decision about my so-called fianc¨Ĥe.
- What's that? - I'm gonna kill her.
Hey, man, I don't want to hear that crazy shit.
Relax, man.
I'm not gonna kill her.
I'm not gonna do that. I'm just gonna maim that cunt.
Don't talk like that, man! I'm serious. Don't fucking say that shit.
You should see your face. Let's go get lunch.
Let's get out of this shithole. Come on, man.
- Hello? - Hey. It's me.
Hey.
- How you doing? - I'm fine.
- Is he gone? - Yeah, he left this afternoon.
- You okay? - I'm fine.
- I'm worried about you. - Me?
I'm worried about you.
When he left, all he took was his hunting knife.
That's all right. I can handle myself.
I know you can.
It's just he has this, you know, dark side to him.
You should see some of the shit he's been drawing.
I wouldn't want anything to happen to you.
Because I think I'm...
I think I'm...
You know. Forget it.
I gotta go.
I should probably go. I'll talk to you later.
Okay.
Good night.
Twenty-five years in this business, I never witnessed anything so horrible.
- From 30 to eight. - I knew I should have sold.
I'm never hiring a fucking relative as a stockbroker again.
I'm going to kill the cocksucker this Christmas.
- What am I gonna tell my ex-wives? - Oh, fuck them. I am really screwed.
Hey. Whisper numbers say we're going to lose 60 cents per share this quarter.
And those pricks have decided to close Chicago.
The management job is off.
- Those miserable cocksuckers. - See you, Rog.
Who's your junkie boyfriend?
What? That's Richards from the Southwest office.
- You've got to be shitting me. - No. He was up for Chicago, too.
Hey, you think we have it bad, that guy just lost his home, his wife and his kid.
Iook, when are we gonna be able to start selling that fucking thing?
- Hey, have any of you guys seen Ted? - No.
Well, neither has Parker Plastics. He was supposed to close them today.
- Our biggest client. - John, how's it going in there?
Not very fucking good.
What the fuck is going on around here?
Hey, I was in an appointment when you called.
You all right?
No, not really.
What's the matter?
I'm moving back to Ohio.
He showed up at 5:00 this morning and...
He needs to be with family. I can't handle this on my own.
I just... I can't abandon him.
I'm sorry.
When?
Tomorrow.
Belisa.
It was because of a woman.
What?
You asked me why I never went back to teaching and never moved to Italy.
It was because of a woman.
I woke up one day and she was just gone.
We were living on a teacher's salary
and money never really meant anything to me.
She said it didn't mean anything to her, either.
She lied.
So I've been carrying around all this anger, all this hurt.
And I used that as an excuse to be cold and hard.
Son of a bitch.
Let me show you what I've been hiding all these years, okay?
Deep inside.
I'm really...
I'm sorry, Ted. I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Hey, Ted, where you been?
I've been, you know, doing stuff. I've been around.
You do realize that the quarter closes on Friday?
Yeah, I know.
So, we lost Parker Plastics.
I sent Breckenridge, totally fucked the whole thing up.
What... What do you hear on lange?
On lange? I'm gonna head up there now.
Good, good. 'Cause we can use every dollar.
- Well, well, well. - Yeah, I know.
If it isn't Willy loman, huh?
Look, Willy,
why don't you get yourself a bowl of soup on me?
You know what?
You know, I've been a prick to you for a long time.
And, you know, maybe I didn't have a right to be. I don't know.
I don't know.
Sorry.
See you, John.
How the mighty have fallen.
If he doesn't sign his next two deals, this is gonna be the next office they close.
Jaime went back to Ohio.
I stayed.
What's going on?
Hey, John.
- What's going on? - Fuck off.
- What happened? - What do you mean, what happened?
I told you how important this quarter was, you motherfucker.
I was the first one to go.
- I don't believe this. - Yeah, well, believe it, sunshine.
Those pricks upstairs didn't put up much of a fight.
Breckenridge is our number one salesman for fuck's sake.
- How'd leguzza pull this off? - Mezzanine financing.
It wasn't even a stock swap.
The price was so low they came up with the cash.
Every division's sales from here to Seattle, way down.
The DIX 179 is gonna make them a fucking fortune.
They're not even gonna need a sales force.
Fucking Breckenridge! What the hell was I doing?
That is for putting up with your shit for three years, you miserable cocksucker.
All I had to do was dangle a young blonde
in front of that sick fuck Crosby from Trenton.
He took the bait, hook, line and sinker.
His trial starts next week.
It was only a matter of time before I got Richards hooked back on the white powder.
Sobriety is so easy to cure.
Pretty good.
But I got the number one guy from Tacoma
to gamble away his home, his car, even his kid's dental plan.
Last I heard, he was living downtown in an empty refrigerator box.
Well, that little lady from the Nashville office still thinks she's having my baby.
That phony doctor had her so convinced, she started having morning sickness.
As soon as sales dipped below 60 mil for the quarter, the stock plummeted.
Bineview's market cap value dropped almost 30% from this time last year.
Excellent.
I really enjoyed the last three months.
I don't think I have ever had that much fucking fun.
So tell us, Artie, how did you come up with such a brilliant plan?
Funny enough, it was when the wife and I were in Zimbabwe on vacation.
She'd been driving me crazy to see these fucking elephants in the wild
ever since we first got married.
So one day we're tracking this herd with the park rangers.
Now, if you know anything about elephants,
you know they eat up to a ton of vegetation every single day.
Now if the authorities let them keep eating like that,
there wouldn't be a single shrub left in the park.
It's a damn shame.
Belisa!
So, as fucked up as it sounds,
these rangers have to kill hundreds of elephants every year
just so the others don't starve to death.
What they do is they maim the leaders of the herd,
and with the leaders out of commission the others...
Belisa.
... become helpless and confused,
unaware of the bloody carnage going on all around them.
It's an amazing sight.
They call it culling.
Belisa!
I knew Bineview's DIX technology
was gonna forever revolutionize our industry.
And I also knew
I wasn't gonna pay their asking price for the company.
So I figured
if you can cull elephants,
why not salesmen?
Do you know where I can get something to eat around here?
Cafeteria's on two.
- Who the fuck is that guy? - That's the top man from Baton Rouge.
Those miserable cocksuckers.
Who's your junkie boyfriend?
That's Richards from the Southwest office.
Well, you definitely targeted the right leaders.
Those 10 were responsible for 42% of Bineview's sales.
He desperately wanted to be in show business,
so I got him to drop every one of his clients and begin rehearsing seven days a week.
The schmuck actually thinks he's opening for Cher next month in Reno.
Now that was a good one.
But I think we all know where the best job of all was done.
You get close to them.
You find out who they really are.
And then you tear their insides out.
Oh, yes, it was a thing of beauty.
I just don't know how you pulled it off.
People are weak and vulnerable.
They're the ones that make it easy to pull off.
Yeah, but Riker.
Ted?
The thing about Ted is that he's just naive enough not to care about money,
which made it all the more challenging for both of us.
You should have seen her with the books.
Every time he fucked her,
he'd offer me one of his clients.
And every time, I'd just piss them away.
A salesman with a conscience, talk about impotent.
Hey, a little respect.
He's one of the sharpest motherfuckers I ever met.
Bright, charismatic, heart of a poet. Hell, I'd fuck him.
Once she got her tentacles in him, it was all over.
She did. She just loved him.
You dump him and then she walked all over him.
He didn't know which way to turn.
Hey, pal.
Hey, I just remembered.
He wrote you a poem. It came in the mail.
It's pretty good.
It goes like this.
"You've got gold inside of you
"If you look deep enough, you'll see
"There's some gold inside me, too"
There's no one better than your team at finding someone's Achilles' heel.
I taught them well. If you look deep enough, you'll find it.
Some people need drugs.
Others need love.
Others have an affinity for
young, well-built Korean boys.
- What the fuck? - Hey, easy. Easy.
Don't get your panties in a bunch. It will never get out.
That is of course unless our money does not arrive by 9:00 a.m.
Ted.
Nice to see you again.
Help me, please.
Oh, please, oh, God. Help me, please.
THE END Subtitles by: Reklame